Things Keep Happening
I have no control, and a deep insight into my personality that I never wanted to have
Hello Dear Readers,
This week I give you two short stories of my continuing Personal Journey with Cancer.
The value in these tales is that there is medical pricing listed for you, and I share a deep insight into my personality. When things fall apart, the standard structure of living one’s life is shattered. I hope you find my short presentation to be thought-provoking.
This being said, I would really like to be giving you things that are fun and useful to your retirement and travel. Hopefully soon, there will be some sort of blend of content for you here.
It is staggering the amount of support letters we continue to receive from our Readers and Friends, and again, Billy and I are grateful to ALL OF YOU who took the time to write to us and to express your concern, your kindness and your love,
Please read below.
Thank you Everyone.
Let’s get started!!
Find these stories and more on our home page by clicking here.
Bladder Stent, Spinal Ablation - My Intimate Journey with Cancer Part 13
Getting things lined up
We had waited several weeks for the appointments to line up at San Javier Hospital in Guadalajara. There was the CT scan, heart EKG, lung x-ray, blood tests and then the doctors to place the stent so that my bladder and kidney would work more efficiently.
There was also the arranging of the doctors to do an ablation on my lower disc so that supposedly, I would have less pain and more mobility.
There were traffic patterns to consider to get from our Lakeside town of Chapala to the capitol city of Guadalajara, too. The soccer World Cup is being held in the city this year, and the government – in its wisdom – decided to tear up and reconstruct several very well-used lanes to make them wider for this international event.
Traffic in Guadalajara has always been a big jam, but with this extra construction event, it became more than horrendous. Nothing moved and if it did, it was at a snail’s pace. It was a daily event with no relief.
So, all of this needed to be organized - between transportation at a decent time to avoid the worst of the traffic - and to align with the doctors’ schedules – which seemed to mysteriously keep changing.
Checking in at the hospital
A friend offered to come pick us up at our apartment at 7:00 am on the morning of February 4th.
Our neighbor, Ron, and Billy, both helped me down the stairs and out to the street. Our good friend, Donna, already had the front passenger seat pushed back as far as it could go, I shoved my overnight bag under my back as a pillow for support, and laid down as I would on a bed.
We arrived at San Javier early despite traffic, checked in, and utilized my credit card for a 50,000 Peso ($2,909USD) down payment. This was required before service was rendered since we don’t have local insurance and this was a private hospital. Medicare really doesn’t cover much outside of the US.
I was laid on a cold gurney in a hospital gown and blood was drawn, CT scan taken, a heart EKG and a lung x-ray were all performed to prepare me for surgery.
Just me and all of them
At this point, 4 doctors and 2 assistants converged on me to discuss what exactly was going to happen in the next few hours.
I recognized most of what the procedures were, but then the docs began to discuss a radiofrequency ablation (RFA) - or now a different procedure - which was to deaden the sciatic nerve. The benefits were that I would “have no more pain” but the negatives were that I could lose movement in the muscle of my right leg.
Billy and I had already thoroughly discussed the option of deadening the sciatic nerve and decided against it.
I kept asking for Billy, who seemed to have stepped out of the room, and someone was looking to find him. I wanted to discuss this with him before I agreed to anything, as these were my legs, my ability to move and my future!
The experience was a bit unnerving to me, as I felt a bit pushed to have something done and I was unclear about it. I mean, it was early in the morning, I felt vulnerable and just a little confused.
Doctors, of course, want you to do what they want you to do (as they believe they know best), and there was just the slightest bit of tension among us as we waited for Billy to show up.
Finally, he arrived, we got things sorted out and off I went to the operating room.
The next phase
I am completely in surrender mode – going in for surgery can do that for you. Completely out of control and dependent on the doctors to do their jobs properly, I’m looking at the ceiling as I’m being wheeled around… wondering, wondering, how all this will proceed. I can’t even believe I’m going through this.
My life was continuing to change dramatically and all I could do was to glide with the program.
I was to be awake during procedure, but the lower half of my body would be under anesthesia. The anesthesiologist introduced himself to me and told me what was going to happen next. I was placed on my side by 3 strong men, a little numbing shot was placed in, and then the major-mojo shot was put in place after that.
For the ablation procedure, I was told I could not move, not a nano. At this point, 4 men held me in place while…. The docs did what they did.
This drawing is the doctor’s rendition of my spine
It shows the mass pinching on my sciatic nerve, at the L4-L5 vertebrae and the surrounding areas on which they were going to do the ablation
3 monitors surrounded me at my head and a light plastic mattress pad was placed over my face. Um, wait a second, um, what’s going on? Hello?
Hey doc, I cannot feel my legs AT ALL. Is this normal? I have NO FEELING in my legs, I cannot move them. Hey doc, tell me this is standard procedure.
I was most grateful that the anesthesiologist was responsive to me and assured me this truly was routine. In a couple of hours, I should have feeling back in my legs.
When the ablation was finished, I was flipped onto my back and the stent process began.
FREEZING!!
When all was said and done, I was wheeled out of the operating room, and began to physically shake from cold.
“I’m cold,” I said. (Tengo frio).
“I’m cold,” I said again when no one seemed to acknowledge me to put on a blanket.
My teeth began to chatter and my body rattled.
I’M COLD! I’M COLD! I’M COLD! (Tengo frio!) Hello? Hello? Hello? I insisted.
Finally, a cover was placed onto me and I was wheeled into another room and hoses with forced warm air were put under my blanket to warm me up. I was probably there for 20 minutes just to find my internal temperature balance.
Later in the day, feeling returned to my legs and shortly thereafter, the docs came by to check in on me.
My assessment
In my estimation, the stent placement was a decent success, but in my case, the ablation was a disappointment.
I was “promised” being able to stand for longer periods of time, perhaps I could sit for an hour for a meal, or even be able to take a short trip somewhere. My pain would lessen and maybe even be gone by 80%. None of this has happened, but I’ll stay open to those possibilities.
Release from the hospital and final charges
On the morning of February 5th, I was released from the hospital and paid my bill via my charge card.
Due to an incorrect Peso-to-Dollar exchange, I was overcharged about $500USD. With the $500 correction (still working with our credit card company) the total for the stent, the ablation, the overnight stay, the CT scan, chest x-ray, blood tests and heart EKG test, the total comes to less than $10,000USD.
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Things Keep Happening
I have no control, and a deep insight into my personality that I never wanted to have - My Intimate Journey with Cancer Part 14
Finishing up with San Javier Hospital, getting back home to Chapala
The bladder stent and spinal ablation were performed at San Javier Hospital in Guadalajara, the number 1 hospital in the western part of the country of Mexico.
After paying the remainder of our bill at the clerk’s counter, I was taken in a wheelchair to a waiting taxi to take bring me back to our home in the Lakeside town of Chapala.
Traffic was surprisingly decent until we got just right outside our town, only to learn that demonstrators were blocking all of the main roads into Chapala. Our friends in Chapala alerted us to this so Billy, who knows this town better than most, immediately looked into alternative routes as we approached and were diverted. To remedy this problem, cars, delivery trucks, taxis and various other vehicles took a side turn up into the mountains to avoid further congestion. The problem was that no one was moving and there was some gesticulating and animated conversation as cars shimmied onto sidewalks and the shoulder of this cobblestone road.
Feeling helpless, I’m lying on my back staring up at the ceiling and the taxi driver is not taking any action. Billy cannot abide the inertia so with a sigh, he gets out of the car to make something happen. Moments later he comes back shaking his head and the traffic line begins to move.
We arrive at the back entrance of our apartment complex, and four of our fabulous neighbors are there to welcome me home and help me back up the stairs.
Billy and I are both humbled and tired.
A Vaso-what?
February 6th, I woke up at home from my own bed and went to the kitchen to try to get a few things done in preparation for breakfast.
In the mornings of previous months, I had been having tendencies to vomit and to get quite lightheaded where I simply pass out.
I didn’t know what was going on…
I was at the kitchen sink with Billy literally just a hair away from my arm. I had that light-headed feeling again, but was not quick enough to communicate it. The next thing I know, my legs crumpled underneath me (I have no memory of this) and my head was in the kitchen trash can.
I’m on the floor, Billy is looking side to side (she was just there a moment ago) and my head is surrounded by coffee grounds and orange peels. It was a miracle that I didn’t crack my head open on the counter in the fall, as the area is a bit cramped.
Billy says “Don’t move” – as if I still had that fluidity to do so – “I’m calling Ron” (our neighbor. It’s 6am in the morning and he is just one door away.) We have called on Ron many times, and this gentle 6-foot 4-inch strong male comes to our aid each occasion.
Both of these robust men are helplessly looking at me on the floor in a contorted position. “How are we going to get her up?” I’m sure they were thinking.
Blood came rushing back to my brain and I was able to think again. “Where am I? What am I doing on the floor and why is my head in the trash can?”
We got me back to the bed and Billy and I discussed this “fainting spell thing” I had been having.
An American nurse friend of ours (30+ years of ER experience) who has been helping us during this demanding time informed us that I was probably having a Vasovagal Response.
It is the most frequent cause of fainting overall, and happens when your body overreacts to a trigger via the vagus nerve, causing a sudden drop in heart rate and blood pressure. This reduces blood flow to the brain temporarily, leading to lightheadedness, nausea, sweating, or full loss of consciousness.
Good grief. I need something else to worry about.
Well now that I know what it is, and possibly what might be causing it, I have changed my morning routine to reflect the safety I need. I stay close to the bed, make sure I’m hydrated, don’t move too fast, and as I have about 20-30 seconds before the actual fainting occurs, I can get myself someplace where I am less vulnerable.
So far, so good. No more fainting or puking spells since I installed my new habit.
A deep insight into my personality that I never wanted to have
As if the long drive through traffic in Guadalajara to Chapala and with the road blockages, the surgeries, the mistake on the Peso conversion, the vasovagal-response-head-in-the-trashcan event weren’t enough, I wake up on February 6th with a virulent flu that I contracted by exposure to something in the hospital.
104-degree temperature, sweating, coughing and phlegm, I can’t breathe well, with body aches and a general malaise that takes over. It very closely reminded me of Covid (is that still around?)
My frazzled and bone-weary husband has had enough.
He goes into the bathroom and shouts “Every Fah-reaking day it’s something!!! I can’t do this anymore! I’m done! There is nothing left! I’m broken!”
There it is.
Completely exposed.
My naked need.
After the storm passed
Billy put a cold cloth on my face, gave me a couple of aspirins to break the fever and called our local doc to come to the house when he could.
The apartment was quiet, I knew exactly how he felt and I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t blame him.
At one point, I got up and gingerly leaned against our bed, weeping softly.
“Billy,” I said. “I know I used to do ‘all these things’ – keep the house together, make sure there was food in the refrigerator, clean up the messes, get the laundry taken care of… but I can’t do this anymore.
“There is nothing I can do to change the situation or to fix it. I know it’s hard on you, and my life has changed also. I’m dealing with me and that’s not easy either.
“Wouldn’t it be better/less difficult/less trouble if you just put me somewhere?
“It’s not what I would prefer, but I understand.”
Billy’s eyes flew wide open and he responded immediately.
“NO.
“You are not going anywhere. I want you here with me. You are not dying in a hospital or a home. We decided on this plan years ago and we’ll figure this out.
“I’m sorry.”
I have to say that I was deeply relieved at his willingness to recommit to our plan to be together “until the beautiful end.”
You see, I can work on my attitude, be cooperative and fun, I have full use of my eyes, hands, mind, and I can still be present and useful. The thing is,… at this moment, my basic needs are great and I must have help. I even need someone to tie my shoes!
It’s no place I thought I would be, and it was supposed to be the other way around. I am more comfortable taking care of others than I am in receiving.
This is when we hired our morning helper, six days a week.
There you have it again – another lesson in Life.
You don’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.
My next emotional assimilation is learning to be ok with knowing that I must rely on others for help.
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More Wonderful Letters from Our Readers
Hi Akaisha,
Thank you. And thank you for being an amazing person. Sorry I haven’t written much but I’ve read what you and Billy have written and I think about you both daily. I’m so proud and humbled by how well you’re dealing with everything. It’s inspiring.
We both love you and miss you so much.
Terry
Dearest Akaisha and Billy--I just want to let you know you’ve both been such an inspiration for so long, and you continue to be as you face this most difficult challenge. You’re both in my heart and thoughts, and I wish you all the strength, peace, healing, and love you need.
Kathy J.
Dearest Akaisha,
We’ve never met, but I’ve followed you and Billy’s newsletter for some time.
You are such an incredible inspiration. My life turned out pretty well. But Oh…YOUR life! Truly extraordinary! And you’ve shared it with the amazing and devoted Billy. The two of you have such a rare bond and have experienced what most only dream of.
Akaisha, you are one extremely honest and brave woman. My heart goes out to you. I love all that you expressed in your message regarding attitude…reminds me to appreciate each glorious moment ‘cause there are no guarantees of what tomorrow will bring. Please know that you’ve been a positive influence in so many people’s lives, mine included.
Many blessings,
Debra C
Hi Akaisha & Billy,
You are often in my thoughts. Several years ago, I had the privilege of interviewing you when you were in Saigon, and that conversation has stayed with me ever since. The way you both choose to live — with such intention, freedom, and joy — continues to inspire me deeply.
I am holding Akaisha close in prayer, believing for vibrant health, renewed strength, and many more beautiful chapters ahead.
With love and gratitude,
Cynthia
Akaisha, thank you for sharing this so honestly and bravely. Your reflection, especially the reminder that so much of life is shaped “between our ears,” captures a truth that Billy and you have modeled for years, not just written about.
I encountered your work about 10 years ago. You redefined the game, moving us away from traditional, stale models and toward courage, intention, adventure, and being fully present through each season of life. What a true gift this has been for me.
Please know how deeply your perspective has influenced the way we live and plan. I am holding you in my thoughts with love, wishing you peace, strength, and moments of grace in the midst of this fight. Thank you, both of you, for continuing to teach us, even now.
With love and appreciation,
Maria & Grant G
Dear Akaisha and Billy,
I have to tell you how shocked I was to learn of your latest challenge - cancer. I have followed you for years now. I retired at 53 (I’m 63 now) and have never looked back. Currently I’m traveling in Nicaragua and having the best time of my life. You have been instrumental in my decision to quit the daily grind called work and go out to explore the world. Please know I’m thinking of you as you face this battle against cancer. Thank you for inspiring people that you’ve never met to be all that they can be.
Sincerely,
Darcy
Your story is breaking my heart and I am so grateful for you transparency in all things over all these years we have been “friends”.
I am hopeful based upon the cliffhanger at the end of Part 10.
Continued prayers for both of you as you navigate this part of your journey. You will never know the people whose lives you have improved yet, you have improved so many. Just as a blossom cannot tell what impact its fragrance has as it drifts away, no person can tell what influence their acts of giving will have on the lives of others. You have improved the lives of so many.
With love and admiration,
Susan
We can learn and change in a state of pain and suffering, or we can evolve in a state of joy and inspiration. – Dr. Joe Dispenza
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Thanks so much for continuing to keep us informed. It can't be easy. I've been following you for so long that there's a void when I don't hear from you. Just love you guys.